A humerous look at what is really in a novel

I posted this sometime ago.

I thought you book folk would like a chuckle today…

The real contents of a novel

By Andrew Marsh – Procrastinator-in-Chief

Chapter 1 – Inane babble that the author insists has to be in, “it sets it up, man.”

Chapter 2 – More inane babble but something like a plot is beginning to develop

Chapter 3 – Where the book really starts

Chapter 4 – Yawn!

Chapter 5 – Who cares?

Chapter 6 – Goodness me, some action

Chapter 7 – The unbelievable twist

Chapter 8 – The new character who screws the whole thing up

Chapter 9 – The unnecessary sex scene

Chapter 10 – Is something actually going to happen?

Chapter 11 – I didn’t see that coming!

Chapter 12 – Get on with it

Chapter 13 – Some bit part character dies

Chapter 14 – I’m losing the will to live

Chapter 15 – Hang on, it looks like the end is being built up here

Chapter 16 – something so obscure and ridiculous it should actually be in another book or the bin

Chapter 17 – Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Chapter 18 – The “big speech” or “family gathering” scene

Chapter 19 – Prelude to the end

Chapter 20 – The ending, I saw that coming in Chapter 3

 

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About purpleandrew

Andrew, recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome is a 53 year old former geologist always had short hair, suited & booted for work. That all changed when the credit crunch hit. Now a complimentary therapist, hospital radio presenter, and writer. Andrew writes crime thrillers, Young Adult, and fantasy books as well as blogging about writing and other stuff that he feels strongly about.
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